Shaunta Paap: A bear and a rabbit were taking a s**t in the woods. The bear asked the rabbit, "Do you have a problem with s**t sticking to your fur?", the rabbit said no, so the bear wiped his a** with the rabbit.A man went to a Nascar race and it was packed all except for one seat in front of him. He asked the man seating beside the empty seat,"Is anyone sitting here?""No, that was my wife's seat." "Does she not like races?""She loved them, but she died a few days ago.""Oh I am sorry. I can't help but ask, that is a really great seat, did you not have children or someone who would have wanted to come with you?""They're all at her funeral."A man dies and goes to hell. As he enters a demon stops him and shows him around. He sees a bar with more bottles on the shelves than he has ever seen, and beautiful women everywhere. Finally the man asked the demon, "Why does everyone always say how bad hell is, it looks like fun to me?!"The demon says,"See those bottles on the wa! ll? They all have holes in them. See those sexy ladies everywhere? They don't."A women is looking for a nursing home for her mother, so she decides to let her mother visit a couple of places or the day to see how she likes them. They go to the first place and a nurse pushes the mother wheelchair outside overlooking a beautiful mountain scene. The daughter kisses her mother and says, "I will be back later."After a few minutes the old lady leans to the left, and the nurse runs up to put her sitting strait up again. A few minutes later, she leans to the right, and the nurse runs up to fix her again. This went on all after noon, until her daughter came back to pick her up.After they leave the daughter asked how she liked it.Her mother says, "It is nice, pretty view, the people are friendly, but they won't let me fart."...Show more
Alden Soldano: There are three people who want to cross a bridge but a troll stands in front of themTROLL: to pass you must answer a que! stionALL 3: okTROLL: what is 6 times 6FIRST GUY: idont knowso ! he gets thrown over the bridgeTROLL: what is 2 + 6 -3 +23SECOND GUY: idont knowhe gets thrown ofTHIRD GUY: dont give me a maths question im a mathematisianTROLL: fine i wont. what came first the chicken or the eggTHIRD GUY: what kind of chickenTROLL: i dont knowso he throws the troll over...Show more
Rebeca Mckin: hi new & latest jokes available herehttp://www.freewebs.com/jokestyle/
Star Gollnick: how do u kill a blonde?u put a sneef sticker bottom of the pool and write sneef here...
Kassie Kay: THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM. A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.! " THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID......... WELL, WILL YA LOOK AT THAT... I'M GETTING A FAX!!...Show more
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